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《卑鄙的我》是由环球电影公司和Illumination Entertainment娱乐公司新出品的3D动画电影。电影讲述的是大坏蛋格鲁异想天开的计划将把月亮偷走的故事。其情节设定为世界第一大坏蛋的回归。期间影片滑稽有趣的动作，加上著名笑星史蒂夫·卡瑞尔的倾情献声，使《卑鄙的我》成为备受期待之作。
《卑鄙的我》经典台词
1. 抱歉，先生，请问有厕所吗?
Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?
贾斯汀!
Justin!
快，宝贝，照张相，我手托金字塔
Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.
贾斯汀，你马上给我回来!
Justin, you get back here right now!
不，快停下!
No, stop!
-不，不!拦住他 !- 快回来!别爬了!
-No, no! Stop him!-Go back! Don't climb!
等等，等等。
Wait, wait.
等一下，别激动，小朋友
Hold on. Easy, little boy.
够了，快停下，小子!停在那。不!
Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!
不!不!不! 掉下去了
No, no, no! There he goes.
贾斯汀!
Justin!
我接了! 我接了!
I've got him! I've got him!
2. 今晚从埃及传来让人气愤的消息
Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered
吉萨金字塔已经被人偷走
that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen
取而代之的是个巨大的充气山寨版
and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.
恐慌立刻传遍全球，各地政府和民众
There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens
都在尽力保护他们珍爱的地标建筑
try to protect their beloved landmarks.
执法部门还是没有任何线索
Law enforcement still has no leads
每个人都在好奇，到底是哪个神偷大盗
leaving everyone to wonder,which of the world's villains
会对这起十恶不赦的盗窃案负责?
is responsible for this heinous crime?
他的下一目标又是哪里?
And where will he strike next?
3. 今天，今天很糟糕
I'm having a bad, bad day
是时候让我为所欲为
It's about time that I get my way
把眼前的一切都粉碎
Steamrolling whatever I see
冰冻射线!冰冻射线!冰冻射线!
Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray!
今天我没有开心很多
I'm having a bad, bad day
你要太在意，我也无话可说
If you take it personal, that's okay
看看吧，看这多么快活
Watch, this is so fun to see
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
早上好 格鲁!
Morning, Gru!
你好吗
How you doing?
你好 弗雷德
Hello, Fred.
对了 你的狗狗在我满院子里拉地雷
FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard,
我可不欢迎它哦
and I don't appreciate it.
真抱歉。你知道狗嘛。想去哪就去哪
Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they want to go.
它们死了就不会了
Unless they're dead.
我开玩笑呢!
I'm joking!
不过，也是事实。好了，好好养吧
Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
好吧 ，好的
Okay. Yeah.
把眼前的一切都粉碎
Steamrolling whatever I see
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
我今天没有开心很多
I'm having a bad, bad day
你要太在意，我也无话可说
If you take it personal, that's okay
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
这不是在跟我开玩笑嘛!
You've got to be pulling on my leg!
你好吗
Hello!
卖饼干
Cookies for sale.
走开，我不在家
Go away. I'm not home.
没有，你在家，我听见你说话了
Yes, you are. I heard you.
不，你没听见。这
No, you didn't. This
是录音
is a recording.
-不，不是的。-是的，这是
-No, it isn't. - Yes, it is.
听着，请留言，哔
Watch this. Leave a message, beep.
拜拜，录音
Goodbye, recorded message.
阿格蕾丝，快点啦
Agnes, come on.
凯尔!
Kyle!
你个破狗!不行!，不，不。坐，是我的松饼
Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin.
格鲁!
Gru!
奈法里奥博士
Dr Nefario.
我了解你此刻心里的感受
I know how you must be feeling.
我，也经历了同样的沮丧
I, too, have encountered great disappointment,
但在我眼里,你一直都是最棒的
but in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats.
什么? 发生什么事了?
What? What happened?
新闻都满天飞了!
It's all over the news!
有人偷了金字塔
Some fella just stole a pyramid.
据说他让别的神偷都
They're saying he makes all other villains look
相形见绌
lame.
全体集合!
Assemble the minions!
小子们，集合了
Minions, assemble!
好的，好的
Okay. Okay
嘿!
Hey!
看起来不错嘛，凯文!大家怎么样?很好吧?
Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good?
那就好
All right.
我的比利小子在那儿!怎么样，拉里?
That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry?
你们好，各位!
Hello, everybody!
好啦，很好!
Yeah, all right!
安静一下，安静!
Simmer down. Simmer down!
谢谢大家，好的
Thank you, okay.
我知道你们可能已经听说了
Now, I realize that you guys probably heard
有个大盗偷走了金字塔
about this other villain who stole the pyramids.
显然，这是一桩大案
Apparently, it's a big deal.
人们称之为世纪奇案什么的
People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that.
但我烦了吗?不，我没有!
!But am I upset? No, I am not!
有一点点
A little,
但是我们这一年也收获颇丰
but we have had a pretty good year ourselves,
在我看来你们表现的也都不错
and you guys are all right in my book.
得了，没有加薪!
No, no raises!
你不会有加薪的
You're not going to get any raises.
我们做什么了?
What did we do?
看看， 我们偷了时代广场的大荧幕
Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron!
不错!
Nice!
这就是我的范儿
That's how I roll.
是吧，你们都喜欢用这个看足球，哈?
Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?
但不止这个
But that's not all.
我们偷了自由女神像
We stole the Statue of Liberty,
拉斯维加斯那个小号的
the small one from Las Vegas.
至于埃菲尔铁塔更是无足挂齿! 也是维加斯的小版
And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas.
好了，我没打算跟你们讲这个的
Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet,
但我一直专注于一件大事!
but I have been working on something very big!
偷金字塔神马的，跟这件事比起来都是浮云!
Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water!
谢谢我的好朋友，奈法里奥博士的不懈努力
And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr Nefario...
谢谢你!
Thank you!
他在那里
There he is.
他负责设计
He's styling.
听着，我们已经在一所秘密实验室里
Now, we have located a shrink ray
找到了一架光学微缩器，一旦搞到手
in a secret lab,and once we take this shrink ray,
我们就有完全的能力
we will have the capability
去完成真正的世纪奇案
to pull off the true crime of the century.
我们要去偷..
We are going to steal...
等等，等等!我还没跟你们说是什么呢
Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet.
嘿
Hey.
戴夫 ，听清楚，拜托
Dave, listen up, please.
接下来，我们要偷的是
Next, we are going to steal,
为了效果，暂停一下
pause for effect,
月亮!
the moon!
等月亮落入我的囊中
And once the moon is mine,
世人就会为了重的月亮 满足我的一切要求
the world will give me whatever I want to get it back!
我会成为史上最伟大的神偷!
And I will be the greatest villain of all time!
那就是我要说的
That's what I'm talking about
怎么了?
Yes?
喂，格鲁? 我这里算了算
Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers,
好像我们的钱真的不够的
and I really don't see how we can afford this.
这事儿成不了的。我没有办法创造奇迹
It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker.
嘿，放松点
Hey, chillax.
我再找银行贷款就行。他们喜欢我!
I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me!
伊迪斯 别这样!
Edith, stop it!
怎么了?我不过在走路而已
What? I'm just walking.
(哈蒂小姐女童院)
Miss Hattie's Home for Girls
-嗨， 海蒂小姐 。我们回来了
-Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back.
你们好 姑娘们
Hello, girls!
我们出去的时候有人来申请收养吗
Anybody come to adopt us while we were out?
让我想想
Let me think.
没有!
No!
伊迪斯 ，你在我桌上放的是什么?
Edith! What did you put on my desk?
稀泥馅饼
A mud pie.
没人会来收养你的，伊迪斯， 你知道这点，不是吗?
You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you?
-是啊， 我知道 - 很好
-Yeah, I know. -Good.
那你们生意如何，姑娘们?达到标准了吗?
So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas?
算是吧
Sort of.
我们卖了43块小薄荷糖，30块可可曲奇，18块椰子饼干
We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies, and 18 coco-nutties.
好吧
Okay.
嗯，你说得像是今天做了几笔大生意
Well, you say that like it's a great sale day.
看看我的脸
Look at my face!
你还觉得今天这几笔生意就足够了吗?
Do you still think it's a great sale day?
18块椰子饼干
Eighteen coco-nutties.
我觉得我们还能卖的再多一点点，是吗?
I think we can do a little better than that, don't you?
是的
Yeah
我们不想在羞羞盒里过周末，是吗?当然不想
We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No.
-不想 哈蒂小姐
-No, Miss Hattie.
好的，很好，你们走吧 帮我搞搞卫生
Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine.
-嗨， 佩妮
-Hi, Penny. -
-嗨， 你们好
-Hi, guys.
喂， 妈，真抱歉，我本来要给你打电话的。可是...
Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but...
我只是想恭喜你偷了金字塔
I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid.
是你干的，不是吗?
That was you, wasn't it?
还是哪个真正成功的江洋大盗干的?
Or was it a villain who's actually successful?
我就要你知道，老妈，我要去做一件
Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something
非常，非常伟大，非常重要的事
that's very, very big, very important.
等你听说了，你会非常骄傲的
When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud.
那祝你好运。好了，我挂了
Good luck with that. Okay, I'm out of here.
(银行)
BANK
(万恶银行)
BANK OF EVIL
格鲁求见珀金斯先生
Gru to see Mr. Perkins.
好的，请您先坐一下
Yes, please have a seat.
我迈出的一小步
That's one small step for man,
将是人类的一大步
one giant leap for mankind.
妈，总有一天我会登上月球的
Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon.
恐怕你已经太晚了， 儿子
I'm afraid you're too late, Son.
美国宇航局已经不送猴子上太空了
NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more.
嘿
Hey
我要申请一项新的大盗贷款。借款人威克托
I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector.
这名字取义于一个数学术语
It's a mathematical term,
由箭头代表的数字，箭头有方向和大小
a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude.
就是矢量的意思!就是我
Vector! That's me,
因为我的犯罪既要引领方向又要彰显不朽
'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude.
哦，耶!
Oh, yeah!
给你看看我的新武器
Check out my new weapon.
水虎鱼手枪!哦，没错!
Piranha gun! Oh, yes!
发射活的水虎鱼。见过吗?不，你没见过。我发明的
Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it.
想看看演示吗?
Do you want a demonstration?
该死!还真难，偶尔啦，把水虎鱼给弄回来
Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my...
格鲁先生 珀金斯先生请您去见他
Mr. Gru, Mr. Perkins will see you now.
所以，我要的
So, all I need
银行的钱来建造火箭
is money from the bank to build a rocket.
-然后呢， 月球就是我们的了-哇噢
-And then, the moon is ours.-Wow!
非常棒的演讲
Well, very nice presentation.
我想看看光束微缩器
I'd like to see this shrink ray.
当然!没问题! 到手就拿给你看
Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it.
你还没有?
You don't have it?
胆就那么大来银行要钱
And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?
显然是的
Apparently.
你明白银行给你投资了多少吗，格鲁?
Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru?
只有你那极少数的阴险诡谋获得了收益
With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit.
要我怎么忍受呢?好比这个苹果是你
How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you.
如果我们不开始收回我们的资金。。。
If we don't start getting our money back...
想像到了吧?
Get the picture?
听着，格鲁，重点在于，外面有很多的后起之秀
Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there,
比你更年轻 ，比你饥渴
younger than you, hungrier than you,
比你年轻
younger than you.
就像那个叫威克托的小伙子
Like that young fellow out there named Vector.
他才偷了一个金字塔!
He just stole a pyramid!
我明白了，我明白了
I've got it. I've got it.
所以，至于贷款制造火箭。。。
So, as far as getting money for the rocket...
拿到光束微缩器再说
Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk.
最高机密研究所 东亚
TOP SECRET RESEARCH FACILITY EAST ASIA
蠢货
Suckers!
蠢货
Suckers!
我们拿到它了!
We got it!
什么?
What?
嘿! 嘿!什么! 嘿!
Hey! Hey! What! Hey!
不!不!不!
No, no, no!
你!
You!
现在，再想冷冻别人的时候可要达内咯!
Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head!
再会，格鲁
So long, Gru!
快点!我们不能让他逃跑!
Quick! We can't let him get away!
向上!向上!
Up ahead! Up ahead!
开火!开火，快!
Fire! Fire, now!
没打中哦!
You missed me!
到爸爸这里来!
Come to papa!
吃我一击
Take that.
太可爱了
How adorable.
看到你了!
Got you in our sights!
就像拿一块糖。。。
Like taking candy from a...
什么?
What?
嘿 格鲁!
Hey, Gru!
尝尝这个!
Try this on for size!
这真奇怪，发生什么。。。
That's weird. What is going...
这是幽闭恐怖症
This is claustrophobic!
不，不，不!
No, no, no!
太小了!这对我来说太小了!
Too small! This is too small for me!
我恨死那家伙了!
I hate that guy!
请守护我们，保佑我们睡个好觉
and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep.
保佑我们在睡觉的时候，没有虫子爬到我们的耳朵里
And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears
然后在我们的脑子里下蛋
and lay eggs in our brains.
太棒了。谢谢你描述这个景象，伊迪斯
Great. Thanks for that image, Edith.
保佑尽快有人领养我们
And please bless that someone will adopt us soon,
而且爸爸妈妈是好人
and that the mommy and daddy will be nice
然后有个宠物独角兽
and have a pet unicorn.
-阿门
-Amen.
独角兽 我爱独角兽，我爱它们
Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them
独角，独角，独角兽 ，我爱你们
Uni, uni, unicorns I love them
独角，独角兽，我可以养一个
Uni, unicorns, I could pet one
如果它们真的是真的
If they were really real
而且它们是真的
And they are
于是，我买一个。于是我养者它
So, I bought one so I could pet it
现在它喜欢我，我也喜欢它
Now it loves me Now I love it
威克特的城堡
VECTOR'S FORTRESS
(安全警报)
SECURITY ALERT!!!
你不。。。什么。。。
Don't you... What the...
祝你们好运，小女孩们!
Good luck, little girls!
(海蒂小姐女童院)
Miss Hattie's Home for Girls
哇噢!酷
Whoa! Cool.
你好! 我们是哈蒂小姐少女收容站的孤儿
Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls.
-我不在乎，滚开!-拜托了!
-I don't care. Beat it! - Come on!
我们在卖饼干，所以，能有个更好的未来
We're selling cookies so, you know, we can have a better future.
-等下，等下!你有椰果味的吗?-是的
-Wait, wait!Do you have coco-nutties? -Yeah.
有主意了
Light bulb.
纳法尼奥博士
Dr Nefario!
我需要一些小机器人伪装的饼干!
I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies!
-什么? -机器人饼干!
What? Cookie robots!
-你是谁?-哦，算了吧
Who is this? Oh, forget it.
好吧，看起来你已经通过了我们的背景核对
Well, it appears you have cleared our background check,
格鲁医生
Dr Gru.
我发现你列出了一个
And I see you have made a list
关于你个人成就的表格
of some of your personal achievements.
谢谢你，我很愿意看看
Thank you for that. I love reading.
我发现你被授予了荣誉勋章
And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor
和骑士身份
and a knighthood.
-我，我，我-我，我，我
-Me, me, me. -Me, me, me.
凯文?
Kevin?
你有你自己的厨艺秀节目
You had your own cooking show
而且你可以憋气30秒?
and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds?
没什么了不起
It's not that impressive.
傻瓜!
Idiot!
打! 打! 打! 打!打!打!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
这乱七八糟的都是些...什么?
What in the name of... What?
好吧，是这么回事
Well, here's the dealio.
自从我的妻子
Things have been so lonely since my wife,
黛比，去世后 ，一切都是那么孤单
Debbie, passed on.
我的心就就好比牙齿一样
It's like my heart is a tooth,
有一个蛀洞，只有用孩子才能填满它
and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children.
对不起
I'm sorry.
你是一个 漂亮的女士。你会说西班牙语吗?
You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish?
我看起来像会说西班牙语吗?
Do I look like I speak Spanish?
你有一个驴脸
You have a face como un burro.
谢谢你!
Well, thank you!
总之，我们能继续进行领养手续了吗?
Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption?
太，太兴奋了!
So, so excited!
请让玛戈 伊迪斯和阿格蕾丝来大厅
Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby.
我打赌妈妈很漂亮!
I bet the mom is beautiful!
我打赌爸爸的眼睛会闪烁发光
I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle.
我打赌他们的房子一定是橡皮糖熊熊做的
I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears.
我只是说它肯定会很好
I'm just saying it'd be nice.
我的毛毛虫永远变成不了蝴蝶
My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.
那是个爆米花
That's a Cheeto.
好吧，黛比是一个很幸运的女人
Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman.
黛比是谁
Who's Debbie?
你妻子
Your wife.
嗨，女孩们
Hi, girls!
女孩们，你们来见见格鲁先生
Girls, I want you to meet Mr. Gru.